**Thought I was going to be able to post this at the Detroit airport, but couldn't do so - I am actually posting this from home in good ol' South Bend.
1/23/11
Well, we are officially on our way back to the states! I realized I hadn’t blogged about the last day of school or Saturday yet, so even though I’ll be seeing some of you really soon, I thought this would help pass the last few hours of this 12 hour flight more quickly…..I actually started this first part on Saturday and never finished it (so don’t be confused when I say “yesterday” talking about Friday).
Yesterday was one of the hardest days ever. Yet I saw God in so many ways and experienced so many joy-filled moments at the same time. I brought my camera to school for the last day, so my kids had a blast taking hundreds (literally) of goofy pictures of themselves and with me. It was definitely strange sitting in the “last classes” all day long – I am certainly going to miss my little chair in the corner of the “classroom” from which I watched those kids. I did really good as far as not being emotional all morning, but then after lunch in Bible class Teacher Kim had all the students come up one by one to give me a “personal message”. Some of the students did it in English, but a lot of them couldn’t say what they wanted without speaking in Tagalog, so Teacher Kim translated for me. Having each one of them sitting in front of me – even the shy ones and even the naughty ones – and be so sincere in thanking me and saying that they would miss me was super special….I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. I also gave my little speech in Tagalog – it was pretty rough, but they all clapped anyways. They absolutely loved the cards I made for them – especially the verses that I picked for each one individually. Hug after hug and kiss after kiss came, and there were lots of “I love you”s and “I will miss you”s. I had brought some gifts for a few of the teachers, so it was fun to give those out. Our professors had also purchased (through a Taylor fund) huge sets Expo dry erase markers (eraser and board cleaner included) for each of the teachers, and Teacher Winnie was thrilled! The end of the school day was really hard though – final goodbyes to the students did not include tears for me, but there were a few from some of the girls. I wasn’t sure if they would ever let me go….but I’m sure I really wanted them to.
The teachers at Cuatro surprised all the student teachers with a little “party” after school – all the teachers stood up and spoke to us as a group and to their specific Taylor person, and then they had each of us say a few words as well. Once again, there were lots of tears – both for the Cuatro teachers and us. We have sort of become a family – especially since they all rotated and got to know more of us than if we all would have just been with one teacher. After the “cry-fest” (haha), they pulled out a huge pot of a noodle dish and a tray of rice cake desserts. The noodles were phenomenal…the desserts were interesting. The one I got was Ube – a really popular sweet-potato flavor here (they have “ube-flavored” everything!). It’s purple and doesn’t taste like sweet potatoes at all. The stuff I ate was a very thick, gummy-like substance….let’s just say I wasn’t able to finish it (haha). The finale was a teacher-group picture, followed by lots of hugs from the teachers and promises to “keep in touch on Facebook”.
After school was pretty hard. We had a “wrap-up” meeting with all the education majors and our leaders to reflect our time and share both frustrations and blessings that we experienced and saw. For some reason, the devil was really attacking me during that time – as I listened to others thoughts I kept getting more and more discouraged, thinking “I didn’t have that same experience, I should have done more in my classroom, I should have built closer relationships with my teachers or with the others on the this trip, I should have done more.” All that on top of leaving my Grade 4 students, and the devil had me focused on so much of the negatives of being here that I couldn’t remember all the wonderful ways God DID use me! After the meeting I grabbed T-bird – my PA from the floor last year and a good friend. We went up to the roof of the library to just talk, cry, and pray for awhile. She was a real encouragement and she was able to speak and pray truth for me to remind me that God used each one of us while we were here in different ways, and we all have had totally different experiences and have learned and will take away totally different things from all of this. After awhile, she left and I stayed on the roof to spend some time alone with Jesus, crying a little more, praying, and beginning the processing that I know will continue for much longer after we leave this place. As it grew darker, it started to rain a bit, bringing coolness and peace to wash away the tears and discouragement. Knowing what to do with all the experiences and lessons learned will be a challenge, but I know God will reveal in His timing. I spent the rest of the evening at the guesthouse – a group went out to a nearby market – and felt a lot better by the time I went up to the Children’s Home for devotions at night.
The time at the Home was just what I needed. Listening to devotions and singing songs with the kids brought so much joy – their smiles and laughter are contagious! I played Go-Fish with 2 of the girls, and then watched a movie with the older kids who didn’t have to go to bed yet. Was tired after an emotional day, so went to bed soon after returning home.
Today (Saturday) has been really fun so far. Our leaders left today open so we’ve been able to do what we want. Went with 6 other Taylor people to take a group of the Children’s Home kids swimming at the condo pools up the road. We split up the kids into younger kids and older kids – I went with the younger group in the morning before lunch, and the older group went this afternoon. Expelled a lot of energy keeping up with the 12 kids, all under 7! A little girl named Pauleen was my little buddy, who wanted me to catch her jumping off the side, throw her into the air, and just help her jump up and down in the water – soooooo fun!
Pauleen
After lunch I went with T-bird and Molly to just walk around a bit in the squatter community – bought mango candy at one of the little street shops. We were just about to go back to the house when we met the gym teacher from Cuatro, Teacher Arol, who greeted us and proceeded to invite us to come see his home! Molly worked at Valley view so just T-bird and I went with him. He lives in the squatter camp, although his income from teaching allow him to maintain a little better shelter. As he led us through the alleyways between the makeshift houses, he kept saying “get ready for the smell”……we weren’t sure what he meant until we reached his home and saw some of the BiGGEST pigs I have ever seen in my life! His family raises and sells pigs in the local market – they all live right next to each other, so everyone helps with it. His bachelor home was actually pretty nice compared to the surrounding homes– two floors, with tile in a few of the tiny rooms and actual wood ceilings instead of cardboard or metal. He took us next door to meet his mother; this house was not as nice as his, but it was much nicer than I expected from the outside appearance! While the roof was made out of cardboard and metal sheets, there was flooring, a sink for water, and several pretty decorations hung on the walls. His mother was very kind but spoke little English, so we didn’t stay long. The Teacher Arol had some shopping to finish, so he walked with us back to the guesthouse. After he left, T-bird turned to me and said, “You know the funny thing is, he NEVER talked to me the whole time we were working at the school!” I was thinking the same thing! – I just assumed she had gotten to know him really well! We had a good laugh, but were very grateful for his hospitality and for the opportunity to actually go inside a home like the ones we have been surrounded by our whole time here. It was neat to see how these people are able to live on so little, and still be so perfectly content and eager to welcome you in. If I hadn’t yet realized how blessed I am and how blessed America is and how often I complain about the littlest things, this experienced certainly confirmed it again.
Went up to see the kids at the Home later in the afternoon when the older kids got back from swimming. I had been promising many of the children when I would see them at school that I would do gymnastics with them one more time before we left. As soon as I walked in the gate, a few boys ran up calling “Tita Lindsey!! Back dive???”, wanting me to start off the afternoon by showing them a back handspring for the fiftieth time. Some kids who hadn’t learned some of the things we did last time wanted to try today, so once again I got to teach them the step-by-step instructions for cartwheels, round-offs, front-walkovers, and “back dives” – Dan Poe would be so proud of me…hehe!!!! Only stayed for a little over an hour because I had to get back before 5:30 so I could shower and then…….get my hair cut! Yes, another one of the services that Josie Long’s ladies do is hair cuts for only 150 pesos (about $3 – with my tip it ended up being $4). I didn’t do anything crazy – I was planning on getting it trimmed when I got back to the states anyways, and this way I could help the ladies out, they could get some practice, and I could get it done for very inexpensively! The two ladies who would be giving me the cut (one was more experienced so she was helping to show the other one how to do layers) led me to the salon across the street (which I didn’t even know existed before then!); it’s furnished with one washing station and one styling station. The three of us carried on a conversation for the next hour as they worked (they took their time making sure it was done just right) and I really enjoyed getting to know them a little bit - one of the ladies was actually the mom of one of my grade 4 students! They were very sweet, and they did a wonderful job with my hair.
Me and precious PJ
I walked back to the house for dinner and was greeted by 3 of the street boys who hang around the guesthouse that I’ve gotten to know a little bit (two of them actually attend Cuatro in the lower grades). The ran up to hug me, and immediately asked “Teacher Lindsey, why you have to leave tonight?” and “Teacher Lindsey can you please stay??......can I go with you???” Oh my goodness – the Lord knows how hard it was for me to answer those little boys, how much I wanted to tell them that yes they could come with me or no I actually had decided I wouldn’t leave after all…..but of course I couldn’t. As I stood in the evening darkness with them hanging on my arms and waist, resisting my attempts to undue their grips on me, I was glad they couldn’t see that I was close to tears. The funny thing is, I had never really felt like I had connected with these boys as much I had with other children, yet here they were, begging me (by name) not to go……God gave me a little glimpse in that moment of how He had been using me in these boys’ lives without me even knowing it. Although it was of course extremely hard and sad, in a way it was encouraging to realize that I may never know some of the ways lives were touched through actions of myself and the rest of our team. After many goodbye hugs and kisses, I managed to free myself and head inside – happy, but feeling a little guilty that I was leaving them to eat a hearty meal when they may or may not be eating anything tonight…..
Last night at the Children’s home.....of course it was bittersweet. But the Lord was faithful and there was only joy for me during the entire evening – no tears.T-bird, Catherine, and I did a little skit for them about forgiveness for devotions, and we sang songs – their 3 favorites – for the last time with them. Then we all settled onto the floor to watch Lady and the Tramp. At one point I turned from the movie to view the precious sight of 20-something kids distributed around the room on the laps of various Taylor students, and as I looked down at the two little boys sitting quietly in my lap (Christian and Joseph, who usually, I might add, do NOT get along with each other at all!) and the two special needs girls to my side, Marcelle snuggled up against me and Joy playing quietly on her lap, I couldn’t help but smile – and I think Jesus was probably doing the same. One of the most astounding thing of the whole night was little Christian…….
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| Christian |
I don’t know if I’ve ever actually written about Christian, but he and I have had quite an interesting relationship these past few weeks. Christian is about 4 years old, and can be as stubborn as a bull with a temper to match. He knows how to be sweet and have fun, but he really does not like to be scolded or told no. I think he’s pretty new to the Home, but because of his personality, not very many of the other children like him – I’m pretty sure they call him name in Tagalog. I really like to play with Christian when I come to the home, and he never fails to run up to greet me every time he sees me. But Christian likes to see how much he can get away with me and I’m not afraid to get stern with him or show him that some forms of behavior are not acceptable; needless to say, he’s been pretty mad at me a few times and I’ve often found it hard to love him. We have shared a few sweet moments together, but tonight rocked my world. He was an ANGEL….no lie. He crawled into my lap for the movie, just hugging my neck and gave me a big kiss on the cheek! I was so surprised and pleased, I gave his little cheek and few fast little kisses; he thought that was so funny, and for the rest of the movie would randomly turn around, point to his cheek ,and say “Tita…again!”. He showed no signs of the usually orneriness – he even let, as I said before, Joseph crawl into my lap without the slightest objection, and he didn’t try to provoke Joseph in any way for the entire hour we sat there! I was absolutely amazed. At bedtime, he didn’t make any fuss at all – he just grabbed my hand and Bible-story book and pulled me towards his room. We climbed into his bed and to my surprise, he turned to the story of Jesus’ death and resurrection and said “Tita, this one.” He soaked it all in as I read about our Savior and His sacrifice of love for us all – even this naughty little boy I often got frustrated with and hurt by. After the story, he listened to my little recap about the significance of Jesus’ life and death, and while there was no prayer of salvation or anything, I knew that there was certainly hope for this little boy. As I hugged him goodnight, kissed his little cheek one last time, and whispered few last minute admonishes to be a good boy, obey the other Titas’, and be nice to his friends, he looked up at me and whispered “I love you, Tita”. It was absolutely beautiful; I realized that yes, I did love this little stinker…very very much.
Goodbyes to the other children were a little hard too – more for us than for them, since as sad as it is, they are used to people cycling in and out of their lives. No one cried for me, but I heard one of the younger boys was pretty upset for some of the others to leave him. I gave big hugs and kisses to Marcelle, Alex, Pauline, A.J., Marrifell, and of course Angel and Ayra, my two “first friends” from the home who have become very special to me. After the last goodbye was said, I wandered downstairs to talk with some of the other Taylor girls and Rona, one of the ladies on staff at the Home. Rona checked our heads for lice – she an expert – and only found ONE on me….don’t freak Mom. She thinks it must have just jumped on me and said I shouldn’t worry, just to get it checked again when I get home and if needed, wash with lice shampoo. Rona walked with T-bird and I back to the house; the two of them we going to try to buy ballut one last time, so I just said my goodbyes and went inside. I know I will never forget all those children from Faith Children’s Home – their faces, smiles, laughter, and all the things they taught me about living life. During my goodbye to her, Ate (ah-tay) Tita – one of the other staff ladies – said to me with a little smile “You’ll be back….I can tell.” I hope she’s right.
Since we had to leave the house at 2:30am this (Sunday) morning, a bunch of us decided just to stay up and pull an all-nighter of sorts. We played cards and ate waffles and just talked and had fun. We pulled away from the house right on time. I really wanted to stay awake for the first 4 hour flight to Japan so I would sleep on the long 12 hour one…wasn’t sure I would make it when we boarded, but caught a second wind watching a movie. By the time I boarded the second plane though, I was so ready to sleep. Actually slept a total of 6 hours – all during “night times” here at home – so hopefully the all-nighter and sleeping when I did will help me adjust better back to the time change. I am currently sitting in the Detroit airport about to board the last flight – an easy 1 hour – and soon I’ll see my family and the entire trip will over. I can’t believe it. I plan to post one more blog entry as a little reflection in the next few days, after I get over the jet lag I’m sure is coming. See you all soon!
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